Friday, November 13, 2015

Today Is the Day..... #fearlessfriday

Well I am up and NOT really sure why I booked this appointment on Friday The 13th!!!! 
Today is the day... I meet again with the surgeon and he will tell me if I am strong enough for surgery. 

So you may know or may not know..... this about the knee!! The ACL is your backup plan to protect your knee. If your knee moves in a way it shouldn't it fires the ACL. 
Since mine is gone. I have to strengthen my knee so that once the surgery happens the new tendon taken from my leg to build my ACL won't be fired and my recovery time will be better. 

This is the hardest part!! The UNKNOWN!! I am such a scheduler and with the busiest time of the year here with Thanksgiving in two weeks, than Christmas I really just want to get this done so I can heal and get on with my life. 

I also wouldn't mind going into 2016 with a new mindset and leave this year in the dust!! 
2015 started with Christmas in 2014, Brian's dad fell and shortly after was hospitalized and omitted to the ICU where he spent 6 weeks until moved to hospice where he lost his battle with cancer. Mother in law in a care center with a broken leg, Husband and I just trying to manage it all. 

I need a NEW YEAR like Never Before!! 

My mindset is optimistic!! The past is the past and I can only learn from it and focus on the future.
It would just be really nice to not have this surgery be apart of that NEW Year Plan.

Personal Development has been key for me. It dug me out of my hole and help me find that strong mindset again. I let a lot of bad habits creep in, and I can give you every excuse as to why I did what I did but I should have been stronger, I definitely know better.

I ate crappy food sitting at a bar and washing it down with craft beers!
I didn't workout I slept in, I didn't grow mentally other than learning the in's and out's of healthcare and the maze of UPMC Shadyside.
I beat myself up! How dare you feel sorry for you! Someone out there is going through so much worse. <---- alot="" bad="" be="" can="" do="" end="" hospice.="" how="" i="" in="" just="" learn="" life="" me="" nbsp="" or="" p="" that="" trust="" you="" your="">
In April I knew I had to start at Ground 0! I had to fix my mindset first before I could fix my will to thrive. I dove into personal development and I haven't stopped!

I started with YOU ARE A BADASS - Jen Sincero  I still revert back to quotes from this book!

 Developing The Leadership Within" - John Maxwell I needed to get back into my team 100% and lead. It was so awesome to see my natural leaders rise during my down time, but I wanted to be able to help them move forward. 

Next was the Five Love Languages" - Gary Chapman, If you are in a relationship YOU should read this book!! My Husband was struggling after the loss of his father, and I knew I needed to fix that to have a sense of peace in my home and be able to give my attention to him first as well as others. 

He was broken too. We honestly were a mess. 

Now with this injury I am educating myself on what goes into my mouth. Ground 0!! I have gained about 25 pounds this year, WELL probably 30 because I have lost 5 pounds here or there. I honestly left NO Time for me. I went into September thinking that would all change and mid month had this happen to my knee. 
That was a SLAP IN THE FACE! 
I have said OH Well around food... I might as well have another.. but that needs to stop. 
I function better when I fuel my body with food that makes me feel better. 
I read the Whole30, got really frightened by it and put it down. I'm not there yet! I will be but not now. 
I am reading the start here diet by Tosca Reno and it starts with food by Dallas Hartwig. 
Ground 0 and when I started with The Eat Clean Diet recharged it changed my whole mindset with food. 

So am I happy that I gained the weight and can't workout NO! 
Am I going to spend another year, month or minute of my time beating myself up over it NOPE! 

 I jiggle therefore I am...
I worry that if I die tomorrow and I didn't eat the cheese... that would be tragic!! 
I drink wine, I love dark beer and whiskey. 
I see Value in Myself.

 I guarantee that there are others out there in a similar situation that I can help. I am evolving into a better version of me and I know that I will look back and say that this taught me _________. I'm just not sure what it is right now. 

Things don't happen to me.. they happen for me. 
Let that sink in a minute..... 
Yes I am overweight, Yes Beachbody Coaches come in all sizes, and YES my life has been a shit storm. Coaching has forced me to look into my life so much deeper ( never judge a book by it's cover) My initial goals were financial but it has also forced me to better myself and face my inner demons so that I can help others do the same.

If you are ready to turn your mess into your message I want to chat with you. 
Make a plan to make a change and better your life. Don't get stuck. 
This is happening For YOU to Grow!! 

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